4.2. BODY LANGUAGE

 

4.2.1 Introduction

A

Does posture tell you anything about a person? In column 1 there are adjectives describing postures, in column 2 - describing characters. Make up sentences to speculate how postures reflect characters.

 

1. round-shouldered slouched straight backed cowering

2. aggressive   expansive self-confident   lively flirtatious   submissive

insecure tense dominant nervous outgoing calm

 

B     Complete the following phrases according to

what your opinion is. You can add your own

ideas.

 

1. I perceive someone who frowns a lot as …

impolite / assertive / outspoken / tense / gloomy

2. A big smile gives me the impression of someone who is …

unreliable / approachable / cheerful / naïve / flirtatious

3. Somebody standing with the arms folded is probably …

forthright / distant / pushy / apprehensive / dominant

4. People who wear a suit at work look …

dependable / respectable / conceited / ill at ease / submissive

5. Somebody who gestures a lot is likely to be …

edgy / animated / impulsive / aggressive / outgoing

 

4.2.2 Reading

Scan the article through. While reading, think about:

 

* Why is body language so important?

* How can it be used to your advantage?

* What does the expression ‘silent speech’ convey to you?

 

Body Language             [ Practical psychology ]

 

Have you ever taken a dislike to someone for ‘no reason at all’? Or ever wondered why one particular plain, dull person is swamped by a vast circle of friends and a busy social calendar? According to some psychologists the answer is simple – it’s all down to body language.

 

Sheena Meredith explains some of the secrets

of our ‘silent’ speech.                                                          

 

Body language, it seems, could be the key of all sorts of unsolved mysteries. Experts believe that our ‘silent speech’ – the way we move, small changes in appearance, posture and gestures – conveys far more meaning than the words in any conversation. Body language can make or break any encounter, especially if you are feeling uncomfortable.

 

Learning the Language

If body language doesn’t match words, it makes us feel uncomfortable even if we can’t identify why. Dr Desmond Morris, the world-famous animal and people watcher, calls these incongruities ‘non-verbal leakage’, the failure of our social ‘mask’, and being able to spot them can help us to make much more sense of our interactions.

Watching other people’s body language can also help your own self-image. ‘The main problem when people are insecure or lack self-esteem is that they imagine everyone else is secure,’ he says. ‘If you spot the tricks someone is using to intimidate you, they seem less threatening.’

So body language tactics are not to hide these signs of tension, but to gain mastery and confidence over the environment, to spot when others are being threatening or belittling, and take counter-measures. ‘If you don’t feel good about yourself, it’s going to show. You can only fake it to an extent,’ says psychologist Dr David Lewis, who teaches people how to use body language tactics to think themselves into a more confident manner.

 

Walk Tall

Anyone who’s ever tried to change the way they move, say from being round-shouldered, knows that it takes a great deal of concentration – for a while. It can soon become as much of a habit as a slouched posture. And walking tall increases and creates confidence. Another useful ploy to boost confidence before a tricky encounter is to look up at the sky or ceiling (if you are alone, stretch your arms up as well), then put your chin horizontal and lower your gaze, but keep your eyes and eyebrows in the same position. This simple change of facial posture can make you look, and feel, many times more confident.

 

‘Echoes’ of Friendship

Consider how you feel with true friends. There is a sense of relaxation, of freedom from the tension, power plays and uncertainty experienced during encounters with strangers. The key here is that you are of equal status. Among friends, there is a similarity of posture and a mimicry of movement, known as postural echo. It carries the message ‘I am like you’, making friends ‘feel right’ together. Popular people seem to have a natural ability with postural echo, and it is often used by successful salespeople. The synchrony is missing in people with serious mental disturbances, and many normal people have poor postural echo. Perhaps because their parents were undemonstrative or unloving, they seem never to have absorbed the unconscious signals of co-operative movement. As the echo goes, so does the sense of rapport, and they themselves may find it difficult to make friends.

 

Minding your Language         

People signal feeling and intent in body language. Jabbing a raised finger in conversation means power or anger. Turning the head, or crossing legs away from someone you’re talking to – however animatedly – shows you don’t want to be so involved.  Other ‘barrier signals’, like folded arms, may reveal a person’s hostility or insecurity. Submission gestures like nodding and bowing are ritualized socially. We all start to edge away slightly, or sit forward in our chair, when we’re too polite to say ‘I’d like to leave’, and most people will take the hint. Those who don’t are likely to be labeled as monopolizing bores.

 

Lies and Body Language

A whole new world opens up if you’re aware of contradictory signals. If a friend who seems to be listening raptly is tapping her toes as well, change the subject – she’s bored. No matter how charming the boss is being, those aggressive little foot kicks probably mean you’ll not be given a pay rise. After a lovely evening, the man of your dreams says he’ll call soon, but he isn’t looking at you and his arms are folded – don’t bother to wait by the phone.

 

Safe Space

The way we dominate space is an extension of body language. The more expansive we are, the more powerful, from the hands-behind-head, feet-on-desk pose, to the positioning of towels on a beach or books on the table. Furniture is often used to dominate, like the common ploy of forcing a visitor into a lowly position in the guise of having the most comfortable, squishy armchair. Encroachments into stranger’s territory, like placing your bag firmly on their desk or putting your coffee cup down near to theirs, make them nervous and increase your dominance in an encounter.

 

Close Encounters

The first four minutes of any encounter are critical, Dr Lewis says. When two people meeting make eye contact, both raise and lower their eyebrows in a flash greeting, which is known by experts as the ‘eyebrow flash’. This may signal ‘hello’, a query, approval, thanks, agreement, flirtation, emphasis or occasionally disapproval. During a conversation, direct gaze is needed for contact and to convey good intent, but it can also be threatening. Intense staring occurs at the heights of both intimacy and aggression. On the other hand, too short a gaze implies disinterest.

 

4.2.3 Definition

Give definitions for the following words and phrases:

 

1. non-verbal leakage   2. belittling 3. tactics 4. ploy

5. mimicry 6. edge away 7. take the hint 8. encroachment

 

4.2.4 Comprehension

Decide on the correct options according to the text.

 

1. Low self-esteem can be improved by

a. using body language to hide what you really feel.

b. using threatening behaviour to make others feel small.

c. recognizing that everyone else feels secure.

d. recognizing that body language need not be a threat.

2. One of the ways to become more confident is to

a. relax more with friends.

b. imitate the facial expressions of others.

c. alter the way we walk.

d. avoid direct eye contact with people.

3. Some people have poor postural echo because they

a. do not co-operate with their parents.

b. do not mix with people of equal status.

c. have not received the proper training.

d. have not understood the signals in a relationship.

4. How can you show that you want to end a conversation?

a. cross your legs

b. move back a little

c. fold your arms

d. nod your head slightly

5. People dominate space in a meeting in order to

a. give themselves an advantage.

b. put other people at their ease.

c. make themselves more comfortable.

d. hide their own nervousness.

6. What should you try not to do in a social encounter?

a. fail to return an eyebrow flash

b. glance away while talking to someone

c. look directly into someone’s eyes

d. appear too friendly and interested

 

4.2.5 Vocabulary

A

Learn the verbs concerned with the physical contact people can have. Use these verbs in a situation of your own.

 

1. When I was a boy, I couldn’t stand:

being tickled on the soles of my feet

being patted on the head by my parents’ friends and told I’d grown

being smacked by my father for something I hadn’t done

having my hair pulled and my ear flicked by a sadistic teacher of ours

being scratched (on the cheek, arm, back, leg) by the girls in the class above

being pinched

being kicked and stamped on, having my fingers trodden on and my face stepped on in the annual Girls v Boys match

having my hair stroked by my grandma, as if I was a cat. They were terrible like that, our family, always caressing each other. I never understood the need they had to touch people – most embarrassing I found it.

 

2. An interview with a boxer:

Well, half the time he was just slapping me, with the open glove; that’s illegal, you know – and he poked me in the eye several times with his thumb – it was awful – pushing and shoving me he was; he even tried to wrestle with me – punches? He can’t punch. He tapped me, that’s all he did – he hardly touched me with a proper blow – when he knocked me out? Let me tell you, he didn’t really hit me even then, not properly – he butted me with his head, like the bull he is – next time I’ll knock him out in the first round, believe me.

 

Word Use

B

Add the verbs from the box to the sentences below.

 

 

1. The freed hostages … their family and friends.

2. The US President … the Prime Minister.

3. I … my mother-in-law on the cheek.

4. Charles … her hand reassuringly as they stepped forward each other to the altar.

5. The Pope … the President.

6. Jack and Jill … each other to keep warm.

 

Word Choice

C

Choose the appropriate word to complete each sentence. Learn the words in bold.

 

 

1. He … intently at the piece of paper in front of him, wringing his hands in despair.

2. He stretched to his full height and … over the wall to see what Lady Thackeray-Smythe’s daughter was doing.

3. We … through the fog, blinking, trying to catch a glimpse of a moving light.

4. She stopped fidgeting and fiddling with her dress. She just sat, absolutely still, and … out of the window, miles away, just occasionally pursing her lips, then biting them hard.

5. The referee … at his watch again, made a sign to the linesmen, then blew the final  whistle. 

 

4.2.6 Collocation

A

Connect the two halves of the sentences correctly.

 

1. He chewed 2. She licked 3. He puffed 4. She nibbled 5. He sipped 6. She swallowed 7. He blew 8. She sucked

a. smoke rings. b. his cigar. c. the sweets to make them last longer. d. the tablets so as not to have to taste them. e. the tough meat before digesting it. f. the chocolate biscuits to avoid eating too many. g. the ice-cream and then her lips. h. the brandy.

 

B     Match the two halves of the following group of

sentences.

 

1. My stomach was rumbling	a.  so I scratched it.
2. We breathed in deeply (took a deep breath)	b. like a dribbling baby.
3. My teeth were chattering	c. and tossing and turning all night.
4. When the meal arrived, the dog started drooling	d. and my mouth was watering.
5. I was sweating (perspiring)	e. and then exhaled fully.
6. My heart began to beat faster	f. and I was shivering.
7. My arm was itching	g. and my blood pressure went up.

 

4.2.7 Idiom

The following sentences all contain idioms requiring  a part of the body to complete them. How many do  you know? If in doubt, refer to your dictionary.

 

1. She gave me the ______ when she started going out with Roger.

2. The company is making money hand over _______.

3. They’ll be glad to get their son off their ______ financially.

4. You’ve got to put your ______ down and make him stop seeing her.

5. What are you doing in this _____ of the woods?

6. You need a thick _____ to be a politician.

7. I’d like to tell you what I know but my _____ are sealed.

8. She’s got a chip on her _______ about not having gone to university.

9. The industry was brought to its _____ by the strike.

10. My boss regularly checks on what we’re all doing, just to keep us on our ______.

11. I’ve got a ____ to pick with you. Where’s the money I lent you last week?

12. If she gets the job it’ll be one in the ______ for Peter: he thought he was bound to get it.

13. The prisoner listened to his sentence without turning a _____.

14. I’ve had no time to prepare for this meeting, so I’ll have to play it by _____.

15. He was caught with his _____ in the till.

 

1. Everybody in the underground car was looking at the world with the usual stroked-out look, avoiding eye contact.

2. Spencer stood guard, with his back turned and his shoulders hunched and his hands jammed in his jeans pockets …

3. My mouth jammed shut, fingers clenched, teeth gritted, heart beating rapidly, mouth now parched, nerves as tense as the strings on a harp.

4. The boss yelled once, then stormed from the office, making threats. All the colleagues were frustrated, but also embarrassed at his antics. The secretary rolled her eyes at Clint as if she wanted to apologize for this pompous loud mouth.

5. When he wasn’t rushing off to fetch something for Davis, he orbited his boss with fidgety reverence.

6. Ken Woods, who was 8 years younger than my father, now looked 10 years older. Not only had his hair turned white, but he drooped. His shoulders, which had been square 20 years ago, were huddled protectively over his chest. His back, which had been straight and erect, was bent, a reed shaken by a powerful wind. His head was bowed as though in mourning. The pressures and burdens, the struggles and responsibilities of the last 20 years, had weighed so heavily on Ken Woods that he could no longer carry them without stooping. He was as Atlas, running out of strength and energy. 

 

4.2.9 Reading

Read and translate the text. Have you ever been misled by body language?

 

Watch Your Body Language

 

Playing host each year to 36 million people from all over the world is no easy task. Here, noted manwatcher Desmond Morris treats us to a light-hearted look at some of the deadly, but unintentional, gaffes that can so easily occur when cultures collide at Heathrow, the world’s premier international airport.

 

I’m never bored at airports. Quite the reverse, I visit them like other people go to the ballet. To a Manwatcher, there’s nothing more fascinating than observing citizens of different countries mingling and exchanging body signals.

And nowhere is the performance so enjoyable as at Heathrow, the world’s top international airport.

Day and night they pour in, a cast of 36 million a year from every corner of the globe.

Where else but Heathrow could you hope to see Brazilians rubbing shoulders with Brahmins, Poles with Polynesians, Madagascans with Minnesotans and Neapolitans with Nepalese?

Each nationality has its own language of posture and gesture. But since these body-lingos are often mutually incomprehensible, an innocent gesture made in an airport lounge may well be an unwitting insult.

Something in your eye? Think before you touch the lower lid. If a Saudi sees you, he’ll think you’re calling him stupid, but a South American senorita will think you’re making a pass at her.

There is no greater insult you can offer a Greek than to thrust your palms towards his face. This gesture, called the ‘moutza’ is descended from the old Byzantine custom of smearing filth from the gutter in the faces of criminals as they were led in chains through the city. So vile is this insult that in Greece even the Churchillian Victory-V is taboo, as it looks like a half-‘moutza’.

Thus the Cretan or Athenian traveler, ordering two teas in a Heathrow restaurant, will carefully reverse his palm and give the waiter two fingers in the best Harvey Smith manner. With 22,600 orders for cups of tea open to misinterpretation every day, the wonder is the place functions at all.

It’s so easy to give offence. Suppose a passenger asks at the Information Desk where he should go to pay his airport tax.

Now the good news is that at Heathrow, unlike many airports I could name, passengers don’t pay any taxes. But just as the Information Assistant begins to say so, she is assailed by a tremendous itch and tugs at her earlobe.

Astonishing though it may seem, this simple gesture means five different things in five different Mediterranean countries.

Depending on his nationality, the Assistant has offered the passenger the following insult: to a Spaniard – ‘You rotten sponger’; to a Greek – ‘You’d better watch it, mate’; to a Maltese – ‘You’re a sneaky little so-and-so’; to an Italian – ‘Get lost you pansy’.

Only a Portuguese (to whom the gesture signifies something ineffably wonderful) would hang around long enough to hear the answer.

Happily, I can report that BAA’s information staff are trained in body language.

A Sardinian woman asks if it is easy to find a taxi at Heathrow. The answer she gets is a cheery British thumbs up. (Very likely from one of the 900 cabbies who serve the airport on an average day.) Immediately, she clonks the unfortunate man with her handbag for making such a devastatingly obscene suggestion. This is why, incidentally, it’s inadvisable to hitch-hike in Sardinia.

Isn’t there at least one truly international gesture? Don’t bet on it.

A Japanese asks an American passenger whether Heathrow has a luggage trolley service. It has. And as it happens, this service is not only first class, but FREE! So the Yank replies with the famous ‘A-OK’ ring gesture. But to the Japanese this signifies ‘money’ and he concludes there is a large charge for the service.

Meanwhile, a Tunisian on-looker thinks the American is telling the Japanese that he is a worthless rogue and he is going to kill him.

The ring-gesture can have further meanings.

A Frenchman has just read a BAA advertisement. Glancing around the restaurant in Terminal 4, he remarks wonderingly to his wife, ‘You know how much zis aeroport cost the British taxpayer? Not a sou.’ And he makes the finger and thumb ring which to him means ‘zero’.

Unfortunately, at the time he is glancing at a Colombian who is enjoying a fine Burgundy with his steak Béarnaise. The Colombian, enraged by the deadly obscenity which assumes is directed at him, chokes on his wine and catches at his nose with finger and thumb.

This appalls a Syrian sitting opposite, who thinks the Colombian is telling him to ‘go to hell’.

The Syrian is restrained with difficulty by his Greek colleague from getting up and punching the Colombian on the nose. Meanwhile the maitre d’ hurries over and attempts to calm the situation with two out-thrust palms. This of course is taken by the Greek to be a double-‘moutza’ and in his rage he promptly skewers the unfortunate man with his fish knife.

Of course I am exaggerating to make a point, but I do find it astonishing that Heathrow receives only 8 complaints per 100,000 passengers. Keeping the lid on this simmering rum-punch of international emotions must take every bit as much diplomatic skill as running the United Nations.

But even if you’re never treated to such a choreography of misunderstandings, the Heathrow ballet is never dull.

Eyes peeled, next time you’re there.

 

4.2.10 Interaction

Make up dialogues discussing a situation when your understanding of body language helped you to get along with people or broke your encounter.

 

4.2.11 Speaking

Demonstrate and discuss the signs and gestures used in our country. Say what purposes they serve, try to compare them with the signs and gestures used in other countries.

 

4.2.12 Writing

Write the page from your diary in which you describe the fellow students’ behaviour as you were waiting to be called in for your oral exam. Begin with: There were five of us in the room …