UNIT 5. RELATIONSHIPS AND FAMILIES

 

5.1 Getting Acquainted

 

5.1.1

 

• ‘Neapolitan’ is a variety of ice cream, mispronounced ‘Nealopitan’ by Ron and Eth.
• - B - Both characters have non-standard accents – particularly ‘Dad’. The two most striking features are Ron’s pronunciation of ‘my’ as ‘me’ (though this is also sometimes heard from speakers of standard British English in casual speech), and his father’s pronunciation of ‘hundreds’, ‘here’, ‘how’ and ‘have’ without [h] (common in many British dialects).

- Ron, are you scared of girls?

- Yes, Dad. When I meet a girl I never know what to do. I just pull me cap down over me face and hope she’ll go away.

- Oh, Ron.

- I can’t think of anything to say.

- Oh, Ron, knowing what to say is the easiest part. There’s – there’s hundreds of acceptable phrases. Er – ‘Excuse me, but do you come here often?’

- I live here, Dad.

- Ron – I – I know where you live. I mean you might say, for example, ‘Can I get you a still lemon?’ or ‘I find the company in here rather boring. Let’s take a stroll in the shrubbery.’ You get it, Ron?

- No, Dad.

- Well, try and remember. It’s important that you get over this shyness, Ron. I don’t like it. How do you expect to get married and have children if you won’t go near a girl?’

- I’ll think of something.

 

- Good evening. Are you the gentleman in the cinema to whom I sat next?

- It’s a girl! Go away! I’m all alone!

- But it – it’s about your cap.

- My cap?

- You left your cap under the seat when you went. I saw your address inside, so I, well, I took the liberty of bringing it around.

- Oh.

- I do hope you were up.

- Up what?

- I haven’t got you out of bed, I mean.

- No. Did you say I was the one who was sitting next to you?

- Yes.

- Then you must be the one who was sitting next to me.

- Well, yes, that’s right.

- You’d better come in.

- Oh? Come in? Well, I am rather soaked. Perhaps I’d better just dry off a bit. Thank you.

- The parlour’s through here.

- Shall I sit on the sofa?

- If you like.

- Thank you.

- Excuse me, but do you come here often?

- Come where?

- I don’t know. Dad didn’t tell me what’s next.

- You know, I hope you don’t mind my saying this, but in the pictures I could only see your profile. I mean, I thought you were much darker skinned.

- I’d been eating a choc ice.

- You eat a lot in the pictures, don’t you? I could hear.

- Only mixed nuts and a choc ice and my chewing gum and an apple during the adverts.

- I like eating in the pictures too.

- Do you? What’s your favourite flavour of the month?

- Nealopitan.

- Ne – That’s mine too.

- Is it?

- Yeah.

- Well, isn’t that strange? Oh – there’s me, just happening to find your cap, and then it turns we both like Nealopitan ice cream. Sends a shiver up your spine, doesn’t it?

- If you have enough of it.

- By the way, I don’t believe I mentioned it – my name’s Eth.

- Eth.

- How about yours?

- No, mine isn’t.

(From the BBC programme ‘Take it from here’. Script by Frank Muir and Denis Norden. Dad acted by Jimmy Edwards, Ron by Dick Bentley and Eth by June Whitfield.)

 

5.2 Love and Other Problems

 

5.2.1	D			Listen to the sentences. Then say the sentences again, using the multi-word verb prompts. The first one has been done for you.

1. The concert had been cancelled. (call off)

2. Stop criticizing me all the time! (go on at)  

3. He’s invited her to the cinema. (ask out)

4. Julie is having a relationship with a man from France. (go out)

5. He gives the impression of being rather aggressive.  (come across as)

6. Their marriage has ended. (break up)

7. Michael has had an argument with Tony and isn’t talking to him. (fall out with)

8. I want to have a stable life, buy a house, and get married. (settle down)

9. The have ended their relationship. (break off)

10. I’m starting to dislike him. (go off)

 

5.2.2

 

M: What’s the matter, Jane? Have you fallen out with Paul again?

J: Yes, you could say that …

M: Well, it takes two to have an argument. What was it about this time?

J: He said I was always going on at him.

M: Is it true?

J: Well, in a way, yes. But I was feeling insecure because I thought he was going off me.

M: How long have you been going out with one another?

J: Nearly a year now. But yesterday I found out he’s been going out with someone else.  

M: Oh, so what did you do?

J: I told him, and he said he wanted to break off our relationship.

M: But I thought you were planning to get married in June?

J: We’ve called it off.

M: Well, I’m sorry to hear the two of you have broken up.

J: I think it’ll take me a long time to get over this.

M: Well, perhaps it’s for the best. You were never really happy with him. And after all, there are plenty more fish in the sea!

 

5.3 Weddings and Divorces

 

5.3.8          A

 

I – Interviewer; H – Helen 

I: How did you meet your husband?

H: It was on a blind date, actually. A friend invited me to meet someone she knew. She said he was very nice, so I went along, and as soon as I met him, I fell for him. I thought he was wonderful. We started to go out with one another, and then I invited him home to meet my parents, and they took to him immediately – they thought he was a lovely person.

I: So meeting him was an important event?

H: Oh, yes, it was a turning point in my life. You see, whereas I’d always had my head in the clouds, he was very practical and realistic – he had his feet firmly on the ground.

I: Do you remember when he asked you to marry him?

H: Yes, very clearly. We were walking in the park and he proposed to me completely out of the blue. I really wasn’t expecting it.

I: How did you feel about marrying him?

H: I was over the moon. I thought it was the most wonderful thing that could ever have happened to me.

I: And do you still feel that way today?

H: Oh, yes, we’re devoted to one another.

I: What do you think has made your marriage such a success?

H: The fact that we’ve always supported and helped one another. I’ve always stood by him, and he never let me down once. We’re a partnership.

I: So you never have any arguments?

H: Well, we have our ups and downs now and then – everybody does – but I know that underneath it all we were made for each other.

 

I – Interviewer; G – George 

I: How did you meet your wife?

G: We worked for the same company. She was about the same age as me, and she struck me as a very nice person. As time passed I came to look on her as a friend. We spent some time together and then we started going out with one another.

I: What did your parents think of her?

G: When I introduced her to my mother she said she couldn’t understand what I saw in her. She thought she was very ordinary and not at all the right person for me.

I: Do you think your mother’s opinion influenced you in any way?

G: I think it made me have second thoughts about marrying her, but we still got married a few months later.

I: What was life like after you got married?

G: Things were all right for a while but then we began to quarrel. We always kissed and made up in the end, but there were still problems between us.

I: Why was that?

G: I think the main thing was that we weren’t really suited to one another. After we got married we started to see one another in a different light. We spent less and less time together, we became interested in different things, and gradually we grew apart.

I: What happened then?

G: We started having terrible arguments and I behaved very badly towards her. I tried to make up for it, but she couldn’t forgive me. In the end we split up. I suppose it was inevitable really.

I: And how did this experience affect you?

G: I think it changed my outlook on life. I certainly don’t see it through rose-coloured spectacles any more.

I: Would you marry again?

G: I would, but it would have to be the right person, and there would have to be a lot more give and take. Otherwise I don’t think it would work.

 

5.3.8	C			Listen to the sentences. Then say the sentences again using the multi-word verb prompts. The first one has been done for you.

1. When I was in trouble she gave me help and support. (stand by)

2. I have always considered you to be my closest friend.  (look on as)

3. I’m depending on you, so don’t disappoint me!  (let down)

4. The children liked her the moment they met her.  (take to)

5. She fell in love with her skiing instructor.  (fall for)

6. I don’t understand what she finds attractive about him.  (see in)

7. She tried to compensate for the trouble she had caused.  (make up for)

8. After a year they ended their relationship.  (split up)

9. I think we’ve become less close to one another.  (grow apart)

10. They had an argument but later they became fiends again. (make up)

 

5.4 Men and women

 

5.4.2

 

M – Man; W – Woman 

M: …I mean, do you think there are any real differences left between women’s and men’s attitudes these days?

W: Oh yes. Take illness, for example. It’s a well-known fact that all men’s illnesses are more serious than women’s.

M: What on earth do you mean?

W: Well, whereas women may feel ‘a bit off-colour’, have ‘just a cold’ or ‘a slight headache’, for men it’s much more black or white … they basically recognize only two states of being: men are either fit enough to run the marathon before breakfast and win, or they’re too ill to stand up.

M: Well, that’s not actually true of me. I had a cold last week, but I didn’t make a big thing of it, did I?

W: True enough… Okay, let’s leave you out of it for a moment. What about sports injuries? Just consider the typical performance on a football field. How often have you seen a player rolling around in agony, with the TV commentator predicting broken bones and the end of a brilliant career – and then the very next minute he’s back on his feet, running round the pitch, without even a trace of a limp?

M: But what’s that got to do with your argument?

W: It’s the same … the same two states … either all or nothing. You men have a code. There’s no such thing as a slightly sore leg that aches for a while. Either it’s so bad that the man may never walk again, or it’s absolutely fine. And it’s the same with health in general, as I said – in the peak of condition or else at death’s door.

M: Well, you have a point about football players, although I think you’re taking it a bit too seriously – half the time, they’re just pretending after all.

W: Which is just my point. But what is it that turns them, in less than it takes to kick a ball, from children in need of someone to kiss them better into fearless men?

M: Probably the threat of a goal at the other end of the pitch … I told you, it’s an act.

W: No, no, no it’s much deeper than that … I think it’s all to do with how boys have been brought up. They grow up expecting to be brave … to be stoical. I mean, let’s face it, today’s New Man may be ready to express his emotions but, when it comes to admitting pain or discomfort, he’s as stiff-upper-lipped as he ever was.

M: And women?

W: Women, when they are unwell and sense they’re getting worse, take avoiding action – you know, using medicines, going to bed earlier, or …

M: Neither of which are true of you …

W: Let me finish … or taking time off work before they reach the stage of collapse. Men on the other hand feel that if they do any of these things it’s a sign of weakness. So they end up fighting off an illness until they can hold out no longer. And then, when they collapse with a secondary infection requiring a doctor’s prescription and days, if not weeks in bed, they see it as a confirmation – ‘Even a man like me couldn’t shake this off’.

M: Oh, come on!

W: And what’s more, when they are ill, men revert to playing the role of a child, with their unfortunate partner cast in the role of mother. Not that I would ever mother you, you understand!

M: No, no, no. Okay, so what do you think is behind these different attitudes of men and women?

W: Well … for one thing, women, unlike men, do take for granted a certain amount of pain and discomfort in life.

M: Hmm … I suppose that’s true – childbirth, for example?

W: Absolutely … and women also feel free to discuss these experiences. Illness is a tricky issue for a man, trapped in a world where he can tell no one but his partner how much he suffers and just where it hurts. It’s no wonder you lot behave as you do – and who could blame you for making the most of it while it lasts?

M: Well, I still don’t think you can include me in your sweeping generalizations.

W: Hmm … Of course, there could be another reason why men’s attitudes differ from women’s. A man knows that when he is too ill to go on, his partner will nurse him. a woman knows she’d better not get that ill!

M: I’ll remind you of this conversation when you’re next bedridden …

 

5.5 Parents and Children

 

5.5.3	B			Listen to the sentences. Then say the sentences again, using the multi-word verb prompts. The first one has been done for you.

1. I have always admired and respected my father.  (look up to)

2. The little boy said he wanted to be a train driver when he was older. (grow up)

3. She’s very similar to her mother – they are both very intelligent. (take after)

4. I often think about my childhood. (look back on)

5. I can’t make her listen to me or understand what I’m trying to say. (get through to)

6. When her mother died, she was raised by he aunt. (bring up)

7. How can we avoid going to my brother’s party? (get out of)

8. He was not punished for using bad language at home. (get away with)

9. At first her father wouldn’t let her go to the all-night party, but in the end she persuaded him to let her go. (get round)

10. She reprimanded him for breaking the window. (tell off)

 

Listen to the problems. Try to answer the questions, using a multi-word verb from this unit.

 

1. You want your boss to give you a day off work. What would you do?

2. Your boss wants you to do some extra work, but you are very busy. What would you do?