2.3. HONESTY AND SINCERITY
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2.3.1 Preparation |
Learn the following words and expressions. Make up sentences of your own. |
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2.3.2 Listening
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The conversation you are going to hear is about the relationships between boys and girls. After you have listened to the conversation, choose the correct answer: |
1. Recent changes in behaviour have affected __________ .
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a. women only |
c. more men than women |
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b. more women than men |
d. both men and women to the same degree |
2. Young men complain that their girlfriends __________ .
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a. have no time for them |
c. never understand them |
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b. never want to talk to them |
d. never tell them the truth |
3. ‘To hedge around the subject’ means ____________ .
a. to refuse to talk about certain problems
b. to avoid talking about certain problems
c. to keep talking about one problem for a long time
d. to keep asking questions about one problem for a long time
4. It’s difficult for girls to talk about _________ .
a. their feelings b. their problems c. their plans d. their ideas
5. Girls would like their boyfriends __________ .
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a. to ask them what they want |
c. to guess what they want |
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b. to find out what they want |
d. to know what they want |
6. a. Girls are very critical of their boyfriends.
b. Girls never criticize their boyfriends.
c. Girls love being criticized.
d. Girls hate being criticized.
7. ‘Why can’t you buy some smart clothes?’ can be considered ______ .
a. a suggestion b. a request c. an order d. a question
8. Girls tend to avoid being straight with their boyfriends because _______ .
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a. they know that boys don’t like it |
c. they don’t know how to do it |
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b. they are afraid to do it |
d. they think it is not necessary |
9. A girl mustn’t tell her boyfriend that _______ .
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a. he can’t understand her |
c. he doesn’t understand her |
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b. he will never understand her |
d. he doesn’t want to understand her |
10. Making boys feel jealous is ________ .
a. exciting b. effective c. useless d. necessary
11. It’s irritating when people _______ .
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a. are frank |
c. think you can guess what’s on their minds |
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b. say what’s on their minds |
d. want you to guess what’s on their minds |
12. Do you think that the girls took the journalist’s advice _________ ?
a. seriously b. with skepticism c. with great interest d. as a joke
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2.3.3 Practice |
A
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Add the second part to the sentences.
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1. It’s a common belief these days that ________
2. Young men often complain that _______
3. They may have _____
4. Most of us find it impossible to be direct ________
5. It’s because you complain more often _______
6. Those are quite _______
7. So you’re trying to say that _______
8. That’s a tough question, but _______
9. First don’t say that ________
10. Tell him what ________
11. Second, don’t deliberately make him jealous ________
12. So, say exactly what’s on your mind and ______
13. Be direct but ________
B Put the missing words.
1. Women have been affected more than men … recent changes.
2. Girlfriends are not straight … their boyfriends.
3. Girls never get … the point.
4. They aren’t direct … their deepest feelings and fears.
5. Continual hinting, nagging and sulking won’t get you … the root of the problem.
6. Girls often complain … boys’ clothes, behaviour or haircuts.
7. These questions may mean you and he have very different outlook … life.
8. We are scared … the possible consequences.
9. Girls prefer playing a submissive role, putting up … behaviour or attitudes they don’t feel entirely happy with.
10. Teenage girls don’t know how to deal … their boyfriends.
C Listen to the recording and find the words that
precede the following. The definitions in
brackets should help you.
1. ______ changes (that have taken place in the last years)
2. ______ belief (popular)
3. ______ hinting (done again and again)
4. ______ feelings (the most serious)
5. ______ haircut (considered to be of an acceptable standard)
6. ______ suggestions (clear and simple)
7. ______ consequences (likely)
8. ______ role (behaving in a quiet and obedient way)
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2.3.4 Activate |
A
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Criticize your boyfriend or girlfriend or make polite suggestions in the following situations: |
а. He / she is not being straight with you.
b. He / she is hedging around the subject and not getting to the point.
c. He / she is not direct about his/her feelings.
d. He / she is nagging you all the time and blaming you for everything.
e. He / she is always expecting you to guess what’s wrong.
f. He / she is often jealous.
g. He / she shows little interest to what you are interested in.
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Opinion |
B | Give your views on the following issues: |
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Would you agree that:
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1. women have been affected more than men by recent changes in the way people behave? 2. girlfriends aren’t straight with their boyfriends? 3. girls expect their boyfriends to be mind-readers? 4. girls tend to make constant digs at their boyfriends? 5. girls prefer to play a submissive role? 6. girls deliberately make their boyfriends jealous? 7. most teenage girls don’t know how to deal with their boyfriends? |
C Give your views on the subject raised in the
conversation. Use the openings given below.
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1. I must tell you that… 2. What I would like to say is … 3. While we’re on the subject I would like to tell you that … 4. I must say I find it extremely difficult… |
5. Don’t you find it strange that … 6. You wouldn’t agree, would you, that … 7. There’s no doubt … 8. As far as I know … 9. It’s probably true to say … 10. I think it’s certainly true to say that … |
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2.3.5 Word Choice |
Choose the right word or phrase which best completes each sentence. |
1. He’s very ______ about his private life. He’s got no secrets.
a. trustworthy b. direct c. open d. sincere
2. She is very ______ and told me quite simply that she doesn’t like me.
a. genuine b. open c. blunt d. sincere
3. If you were ______, you’d admit that it was your fault.
a. genuine b. true c. frank d. honest
4. He’s got a very ______ manner, so don’t be surprised if, the first time you meet him, he asks you how much you earn.
a. sincere b. frank c. direct d. reliable
5. I’m writing to express my _______ gratitude for all your help.
a. truthful b. blunt c. sincere d. honest
6. It was a ______ mistake. I wasn’t trying to cheat you.
a. genuine b. sincere c. truthful d. frank
7. I’m going to be _____ with you, Mr Henderson. Your daughter is a thief.
a. sincere b. open c. frank d. genuine
8. I think he’s _______ . I think he sells stolen goods.
a. insincere b. false c. crooked d. deceitful
9. She’s so ______. One minute she’s your best friend, and the next minute she doesn’t want to know you.
a. deceptive b. two-faced c. deceitful d. misleading
10. He was very _____. He flattered me so that I wouldn’t be able to refuse him the favour he wanted.
a. crooked b. two-faced c. cunning d. deceptive
11. The way he got me to do his work for him, without me realizing what was really happening, was very _________.
a. devious b. misleading c. crooked d. false
12. Don’t expect him to turn up on time. He’s very ______.
a. untrustworthy b. unreliable c. deceitful d. cunning
13. It’s _______ of you to say that. You know it isn’t true.
a. dishonest b. devious c. untrustworthy d. false
14. I was _______ by his honest appearance. Only later did I discover that he was a liar.
a. misled b. deviated c. done d. cheated
15. Before you send them any money, make sure the company really exists. The whole thing could be a ______.
a. deceit b. fool c. cheat d. con
16. You can’t ______ me! I know that story isn’t true.
a. lie b. fool c. do d. cheat
17. I realize now that you’ve been ______ me. You haven’t been going out with your friends, you’ve been seeing another man.
a. lying b. doing c. deceiving d. conning
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2.3.6 Word Form |
Use the word in brackets in the right form.
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Recent research has led many scientists to believe that the (1 – able) to recognize whether or not someone is telling the (2 – true), or is about to break bad news has more to do with science than a magical (3 – six) sense.
The human body and brain subconsciously pick up signals so small that they would not (4 – normal) be noticed. If someone is telling lies, for (5 – instant), their body language is slightly (6 – differ). The brain picks up on these changes, which may include a bead of sweat or a slight (7 – alter) in tone of voice. Upon the (8 – realize) that the person has been lying, the brain has a ‘told you so’ sensation. Scientists argue that people should trust their own (9 – judge); their instinctive reactions will tell them if a person is (10 – rely) and not to be trusted.
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2.3.7 Reading |
Say, if the statements are true or false, in your opinion.
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* You never cheated at school.
* About 20% of children cheat at school.
* More boys cheat than girls.
* It is wrong to report on a cheat.
Read the text and correct the true and false answers
where necessary. Argue the last point if you think
differently.
Have you ever copied someone else’s answers in an exam or passed off someone else’s term paper as your own original work? Sadly enough, if your reply is ‘no’, you are in a minority. Surveys have shown that about two thirds of children admitted cheating in school. Cheating is done more by males than females, and intelligence is unrelated (though those with below average grades cheat more than those with above average grades).
When you allow others to cheat without reporting their behaviour, your response is no different than the situation in which you stand idly by as a thief gets away with his or her crime. You may one day find yourself driving across a bridge designed by an individual who cheated in his engineering school exams, or you have a cavity filled by a dentist who was only able to pass dental school by copying the answers of a friend.
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2.3.8 Speaking
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Can you always tell if someone is lying? Is lying actually bad? Who do we lie most often to? What is it that we lie about? Read the text and answer these questions. |
Whilst we are all very good at telling lies we are not so good at spotting them. Unless someone is a professional / compulsive liar there are a number of things that people tend to do when they lie: they tend to avoid eye-contact; their voice has a higher pitch than usual; what they say sounds rehearsed – probably using words that are supposed to be convincing but generally sound unnatural and distant; they tend to touch their nose or ears, scratch parts of their body, and shift in their seat. Interestingly, we tend to lie more to attractive people rather than unattractive people. Most lies are not intended to be deceptive, generally we lie unconsciously, either to be tactful or to protect / promote ourselves, by editing out details. Lying is not always a bad thing; married couples who religiously tell each other everything are more likely to get divorced than those who have a few secrets. In any case, imagine what life would be like if always told the truth!
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2.3.9 Discussion |
A
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How serious the following lies seem to you? The least serious mark ‘1’, the most serious – ‘5’. |
| 1 2 3 4 5 | ||
| 1. Using public transport without buying a ticket. | _ _ _ _ _ | |
| 2. Getting someone else to do your homework for you. | _ _ _ _ _ | |
| 3. Making an event sound much better or worse than it really was. | _ _ _ _ _ | |
| 4. Borrowing things without the owner’s permission. | _ _ _ _ _ | |
| 5. Promising to visit/phone/write to someone when you have no intention of doing so. | _ _ _ _ _ | |
| 6. Not telling the waiter/waitress that they’ve undercharged you for your meal. | _ _ _ _ _ | |
| 7. Telling children that Father Christmas exists. | _ _ _ _ _ | |
| 8. Copying books, CDs, videos and computer software. | _ _ _ _ _ | |
| 9. Cheating on your partner. | _ _ _ _ _ | |
| 10. Reading other people’s diaries and letters without their permission. | _ _ _ _ _ |
B Discuss in which of the following situations it
would be convenient to tell a white lie.
What might the lie be?
1. Your mother knits you a revolting jumper for your birthday.
2. A new friend invites you to dinner. You’re doing nothing but you don’t want to go.
3. You are a doctor. Your patient has six months to live.
4. Your child is 13. To get reduced rail fares she should be under 13.
5. Your partner has been hours preparing to go out for dinner. He/she looks terrible.
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2.3.10 Translation |
Give a literary translation to the text below.
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Spencer sighed and said to his dog, ‘Okay, I’ll be straight this time. Right to the heart of it, huh? No more dancing around the edges.’
Long ago he had sworn never to lie to himself. He kept that oath only somewhat more faithfully than the average drunkard kept his New Year’s Eve Resolution never to allow demon rum to touch his lips again. In fact, he probably indulged in less self-delusion and self-deception than most people did, but he could not claim, with a straight face, that he invariably told himself the truth. Or even that he invariably wanted to hear it. What it came down to was that he tried always to be truthful with himself but he often accepted a half-truth and a wink instead of the real thing – and could live comfortably with whatever omission the wink implied.
But he never lied to the dog.
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2.3.11 Opinion |
Do you agree with the following sayings? Give your reasons and explanations. |
1. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you / Do as you would be done by.
2. The ends justify the means.
3. Give a lie twenty four hours’ start and you can never overtake it.
4. Promises are made to be broken.
5. Give a thief enough rope and he’ll hang himself.
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2.3.12 Writing |
Choose any of the topics below for your writing.
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1. Given the opportunity most people would steal if there was no way of being caught.
2. The truth will out.
3. If you want to have happy relationships, never say the whole truth.
4. Better suffer the truth than prosper by falsehood.